Give Yourself The Power To Make Lasting Change

give yourself the power to make lasting change

The Model

Have you heard of the Model?

It’s the most powerful tool in Coaching and creates awareness for the mind. It shows us the cause of everything and can solve any problem. It reveals belief systems (uncovers current ones and creates new ones), programmed vs. deliberate thoughts, and also shows that the past has no effect without our current thinking.

The Model starts with identifying our circumstance. A circumstance is factual and beyond our control (the past, other people’s behaviour, world events). The circumstance triggers a thought. A thought is a sentence in our mind and what we choose to make something mean. This thought causes a feeling. A Feeling is a vibration in our body, an emotion. This feeling causes an action (we act, based on how we feel). Sometimes Inaction is the action the feeling causes. Whatever action (or inaction) we take creates our result. Our result is always evidence for our original thought and actually reinforces it, putting you back through the same Model all over again, like an endless loop. This can be very damaging when the original thought is a negative one.

(C)ircumstances

can trigger

(T)houghts

cause

(F)eelings

cause

(A)ctions

create

(R)esults

(which reinforces the original thought)

Here is an example:

C: Weekday mornings

T: Getting the kids out the door is never easy

F: Frustrated

A: Yell at the kids, run around the house trying to get everyone organized

R: I’m upset, they’re upset, and we all start our day off upset

Do you see how the result “I’m upset, they’re upset, and we all start our day off upset” just provides evidence to the thought “getting the kids out the door is never easy”? Now because I’ve provided evidence to my thought, I’m going to further believe my thought. This will continue to bring me the same result, reinforcing my thought, which brings me the same result, which reinforces my thought and so on… I’m on a strong, downward spiral.

This is called an Unintentional Model. It is a Model with a thought that isn’t serving us or getting us the result we want. We don’t normally intend to think thoughts that don’t serve us and are often unaware of how they affect our results. So what do we do when we recognize our thoughts aren’t serving us and we’re ready for change? We decide what result we DO want. We create an Intentional Model that shows the same circumstance as our Unintentional Model had, but we decide how we WANT to think about it, how we WANT to feel about it, what action we WANT to take, which brings us to the result we WANT to have. We take control of how we think.

Here is an example of moving from our Unintentional Model to an Intentional Model:

C: Weekday mornings

T: My kids are just kids and are still learning how to organize themselves

F: Encouraged

A: Help and encourage the kids as they get ready for school

R: We each start our day on a positive foot and I’m teaching them how to get out the door successfully

Wouldn’t you love to feel encouraged rather than frustrated? It’s like an instant weight has been taken off your shoulder. Frustration is a common emotion felt, an instant reaction to something that doesn’t go the way we planned. But does it serve us? We don’t have control over ANYTHING outside of how we choose to think. This can be really frustrating to hear, but think about it: you don’t have control over how someone behaves, how much they care, or what they do for you. The only thing you have control over is how you decide to show up in the world. Will your frustration change how someone performs? Possibly, but not in a healthy way. Not in a way that grows a relationship.

With an Intentional Model, you can start at any place you like. Remember, our circumstance stays the same but what we choose to think about it changes. You may not be sure of anything other than the result you desire, or perhaps feeling different is what stands out the most to you. Usually, we start our Intentional Model with answering one of these questions:

How would you like to feel?

What desire would you like to have?

What would you like to think about this circumstance?

If you know what result you’d like to have then you work the Model from the bottom, upward. Fill in your result line, then work your way up by asking yourself each question:

C: Same as Unintentional Model

T: What thought would I need to think about my circumstance to create that feeling? F: What feeling would I need to feel to create that action?

A: What action do I need to take to create that result?

R: What result do I want?

If you know what you want to think about the circumstance then you work from the top of the Model, downward. Fill in your thought, then work your way down by asking yourself each question:

C: Same as Unintentional Model

T: What would you like to think about this circumstance?

F: When you think that thought, how does it make you feel?

A: When you think that thought and feel that way, how will you show up? What action will you take?

R: When you think that thought, feel that way, and take that action, what result do you create?

It may seem tricky to start in the middle of a Model, but if you know how you want to feel, that’s exactly where you start. Fill in your feeling, then start back up at the top of the Model and work your way down by asking the following questions:

C: Same as Unintentional Model

T: What thought do you need to think, to feel that way?

F: How do you want to feel?

A: When you think that thought and feel that way, how do you show up? What action do you take?

R: When you think that thought, feel that way and take that action, what result do you create?

I promise that as you practice Models this will become second nature to you. It’s about asking yourself the right questions, so you can get to the root cause of any problem and understand that your thinking is ultimately what creates your results. Our world has been conditioned to believe that it’s actions that create our results, and by not realizing that it goes two levels deeper than that, it becomes easy to circle back to old thoughts and habits. By understanding that our thoughts create our results, we give ourselves the power to make lasting change. If we can learn to do the work and clean up our thinking, we can change our lives and ultimately our world.

So what’s on your mind?

Let’s do a Model!!

If you have any questions or would like more information on how we can help you achieve your goals, please email us info@theshredlife.com

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